When Privacy Became Suspicious: The Entitlement of Access
Is putting your phone down REALLY that difficult? Asking for a friend. The friend is me.
I was watching a YouTube video recently about the fall of the influencer. The thesis was that these creators are no longer relatable, especially in this economy. The era of the It Girl—clean girl aesthetic, luxury unboxings, all-beige apartments, and skincare routines that cost more than a car note—is dying.
But as I was watching, I had to ask: "Who put them there in the first place? Who continues to make them relevant......? Oh. OK."
The Shift from Aspiration to Observation
We’ve hit a point where people are deciding between paying the electric bill or putting food on the table. So, when they go on their phones to escape this reality and see an influencer dropping $10k on a Cartier bracelet, the vibe has shifted from "aspirational" to "infuriating."
Now, the trend is moving toward relatable content. Folks want normal people in imperfect lighting or creators who film in their cars because it’s the only quiet place they can find.
But I have to ask: Why do you want to watch others at all? What's the point?
The YouTuber argues that audiences are tired of comparing their lives and feeling worse, yet they claim they can’t leave because social media is how we connect and escape. This creator even suggested that for people who don’t like reading or watching TV, social media is the only option left.
Are you serious right now??? We’ve reduced the entire human experience of relaxation to reading, TV, or scrolling???
The Entitlement of Access
This spectator mindset didn't just stay with the influencers. It bled into our real lives....Shocking.
We have conditioned ourselves to treat everyone—strangers and friends alike—as content to be consumed.
We watch influencers with hawk-like obsession, and then we turn around and demand to watch our real-life friends with that same intensity. We feel entitled to see everything they do.
I remember telling an old friend a while back that I was going away for a vacation. I didn't post about it; I just went. Later, the conversation turned weirdly pushy. He kept demanding to see pictures. It wasn't a "oh, hope you had fun!" vibe; it was a "where is the proof?" vibe.
I remember thinking, Why are you pressing me over some photos? This is getting weird. It felt like he was annoyed he missed an episode of my life.
I saw this dynamic again when I deleted all my socials.
Eventually, I created a single Instagram account just to watch cooking videos. When my friends found out, they were low-key offended that I didn’t follow them immediately.
I never understood that. We were friends in real life. We spoke on the phone. We hung out in person. Why do you feel some type of way because I don't want to "connect" with you on an app?
Well. I guess there's a reason they're old friends now. Moving on.
The Flattened Boundary
Social media flattened our boundaries. It trained people to expect constant access to others’ lives.
Privacy became suspicious. Distance became rude. Not posting (or not sharing the vacation pics) started to look like hiding.
If we’re actually friends, you don’t need a 360-degree surveillance package of my thoughts, meals, and trips. You don't need to consume my life to be part of it. That's weird. Please recognize that as a fact.
We aren't using these apps to connect anymore. We're using them to perform. And honestly? I'd rather just watch the pasta videos.